Today we be trip back to '93 at what some people might consider modern art, what a LOT of people consider a pile a steaming crap, and what I consider to be a cult classic. Got some 'shrooms? That's right, I'm talking about the Super Mario Bros. movie.
So you most likely already know about the Mario Bros. They are always out to save the princess but I'm sorry, the princess is in another castle. This movie is somewhat based on that premise, except that the princess is really a college student in Brooklyn digging around for dinosaur bones, Luigi is the one who has the hots for her, and Mario is an old fart. Daisy gets kidnapped by Iggy and Spike, two evil Koopa brothers introduced in Super Mario 3. They take her back to their dimension in which humans have evolved from dinosaurs, their world is ruled by King Koopa, and Koopa knows about the real world and wants to merge the two together. You see - Daisy happens to belong to royalty of that dimension and has a special rock that can merge our universes together. Luigi goes out to save her, Mario comes along to help his brother, and they encounter a bunch of wacky characters in their quest to save the princess that they didn't initially know was a princess. That is - until she found out herself and introduced them to her father who had been de-evolved into slimy fungi. Will they save her? Well you probably already know the answer. If not, then shame on you! Play the games or watch the movie! Anyways, mischief and mayhem aplenty and well as whole-hearted cheesyness.
And now... the TOP 10 WEIRDEST THINGS ABOUT THE SUPER MARIO BROS MOVIE!
10. While Mario and Luigi for most of the movie wear their trademark red and green overalls, at one point in the movie the wear leisure suits.
9. Toad is a reptile instead of a mushroom thingy like he is in the games. He's also a harmonica-playing hippie.
8. Goombas don't look like evil mushrooms like in the games. They look more like retarded Frankensteins with goofy reptile heads.
7. The Bob-omb enemy apparently wears Reebok shoes. COUGH*Product placement*COUGH
6. Yoshi is shown as a real dinosaur. Cuteness beaten with an ugly stick.
5. The princess is named Daisy. The games are usually based around Princess Toadstool except for the Game Boy version which did have a Daisy.
4. Mario and Luigi are mugged by an old granny for Koopa coins.
3. This might be one of the first times we learn that Mario's name is Mario Mario and Luigi's name is Luigi Mario. Hence the Mario Bros.
2. King Boswer looks human (Dennis Hopper, might I add) and has machines that can de-evolve anyone he doesn't like. Hey, he never had that in the games.
and 1.... The Mushroom Kingdom is dark and corrupt, almost like Tim Burton made it. Almost as creepy as 1990s Gotham City. What happened to the Shigeru Miyamoto's cheery world? Oh yeah, that's right... weird and creepy was popular back then.
So love it or hate it, that's up to you. As for me, I love it for it's cheesy references to the actual Mario games and because it just reeks of 90s pop culture. And this was one of the catalysts for the trend of turning excellent video games into subpar B movies such as Mortal Kombat which came out just a little while later. That's it kids! See you in the next blog!
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